Bald guys shouldn’t grow beards

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From Wooly Willy:

Coach, 

I’m thinking of growing a walrus mustache like Logan Mankins has. Do you think I should add muttonchop sideburns to the mix? I’m bald as a cueball but I have bushy eyebrows.

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From the Playbook:

Actually Mankins has no facial hair at all. He’s just got a sweaty face and likes to eat a lot of fresh roadkill. Sometimes it’s feathers, sometimes its fur, fleece — he comes from a small town where there weren’t a lot of restaurants, and I guess old habits die hard. But if I were a bald guy I’d go for a cleaner look like the a la Souverov. The walrus is good if you want to conceal the plays you’re calling without using a clipboard, but it hasn’t worked out too well for Brad Childress. 

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