Evil never retires.
From Armageddon Worried:
Dear Coach,
As the moral leader of the Patriots, how does it feel to have your players reaching up the skirts of unsuspecting women in order to grope their private parts? Clearly you’ve dropped the ball in the father figure department. And, according to Mike Reiss at ESPN, you’ve also “lost your fastball” on defense. What do you have to say for yourself?
Prayerfully,
Tony Dungy
From the Playbook:
I understand your concern but you’re pointing the finger at the wrong guy. Who do you think introduced Gronkowski to that hooker and Twittered their photograph all over the place? The same guy that brought Edelman to that club dressed as the cop from the Village People and spiked his Coors Lite with mescaline. The same guy who hazed rookies on those mid-’80s Giants teams by dropping them off in the Bed-Stuy projects in full pads and telling them to “clean up the trash.” How do you thing Lawrence Taylor got that crack addiction in the first place? It was Parcells, you moron. He’s everywhere.
I think you and Mr. Dungy have both misinterpreted the situation. Mr. Edelman was simply attempting to engage in the newest fad of Tebowing, and tripped.
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What smarts is that this happened on Halloween, my favorite holiday. Edelman should have Te-bobbing for apples at the roller rink with me and Moss, instead of Te-groping co-eds in an opiated haze with Parcells. Now every time I see a pumpkin or some candy corn that’s what I’m going to picture. Good job Edelman — and best of luck in your new career with the Oakland Raiders.
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