Hey Hey Hey.

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It is what it is.

From the desk of Mike Shanahan:

Bill. ¬†Thought you should know that Haynesworth was here last weekend, shopping your playbook to anyone who’d listen. It hardly seems possible, but he looked even fatter and less motivated than he was when he sat on our bench for $35.6 million. Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. Let’s grab a steak after the game.

Mike

From the Playbook:

Appreciate the tip, Mike. As I see it, the only part of our operation Haynesworth is qualified to spread rumors¬†about is the cafeteria. So unless he tells you we’re running the Wildcat with a ham hock and some mashed potatoes, you can be pretty sure he’s at least 85% wrong. But on to the steak — Bobby Van’s?

Bill

Girlfriend in a Coma

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From PatsFanDoug:

Dear Coach,


I can’t believe it’s really you. I’ve always wondered what kind of advice you give your players and I guess now is my chance to find out because i really need your advice. My girlfriend doesn’t like it rough but I guess I do because all of a sudden she is giving me the silent treatment. I did hear from her lawyer though. In fact I am writing this from jail. I don’t know if you’ve ever been through something like this before but the site says ask anything so I’m asking.

From the Playbook:

I’ll tell you what I tell my players: the horseplay must be consensual. Consensual horseplay is what happens when you’re a first ballot Hall-of-Famer pulling down 98 passes for 1,493 yards, you drink one too many Courvoisiers during your bye week, and you play Twister with a groupie. Barroom assault is what happens when you’re too ugly to get dates even after quarterbacking the Pittsburgh Steelers to two Super Bowl victories. Either way, chances are you will still end up in the playoffs. Then there’s what happens when you’re a disgraced former first-round pick who likes to pick up the tab by shoving your MasterCard down a waitress’s brassiere. When it’s like that, I like to take a wait and see approach. If you clean up your act and turn out to be the sleeping giant you say you are, and you remember to let Tom Brady pay the bill unless you’re at a Hooters, I’ll support you 100 percent and start you in the playoffs. If anything else, I’ll trade you for a third-round draft pick and wish you the very best in your new career with the Oakland Raiders.