Clock management


From SalFromAbingdon:

Coach, What was really going on when you were charged that second time-out at the end of the Pats’ loss to the Bills? To me it looked like you got charged a time-out you didn’t ask for because you were screaming at the officials for a good 90 seconds.

From the Sauna:

You can thank the morons at Chevrolet for that misunderstanding, Sal. When I drove the Impala to Ralph Wilson Stadium that morning the dashboard clock said it was August 12, 1995. I was slipping the official a cocktail napkin that said “I resign as HC of the CleBro” when he informed me that I had 103 seconds to win the game that was currently in progress, instead of sixteen years and several job changes as I’d originally thought. It was frustrating: I kept trying to explain to the official that with the Unabomber at large, he’d be better off handing us the ball for safekeeping, but he wouldn’t see it my way, even when I offered him a ride in the Impala.

Bad Hair Month ahead for Buffalo fan


From BFLOSteve:

Coach —

I have a bet with my NE pals that the Bills will stamped your team and finally end their 15 game losing streak to the Patriots.  If this does not happen I will have to shave I LOVE BRADY and I LOVE UGGS on my head…which is fine 50%…since I actually do like UGGS but not BRADY.  Hey  — it gets cold up here.  So I guess this isn’t really a question but more of a general comment…so you remember…when your team somehow loses a game they think they are going to easily win.


Steve Earl

From the Playbook:

Hey Steve — I’ll be the first to admit that we have our hands full with Buffalo. They can throw the ball, they can run the ball, they can kick the ball down the field and carry it around in a purposeful way. Their quarterback went to Harvard, so they obviously know their way around the SATs. Chan Gailey has done a good job with that program. That said you need to be prepared for what’s going to happen if this doesn’t go your way. Shawne Merriman has shaved a lot of stupid stuff onto his skull, but even he doesn’t have the head room for I LOVE BRADY and I LOVE UGGS. So when you’re sitting there on the wrong side of a 38-7 game, watching my players do the Lights-Out Dance on your insignia, you’ll want to have a hooded sweatshirt handy. They’re great for storing snacks, hiding blemishes, warming up on the sidelines, you name it. When you get home, look into getting a deerstalker hat. It’s the closest thing to wearing an Ugg on your head.

I think my phone might have got disconnected


From: The RealRandyMoss81:


Did you try to call just now? I thought I heard it ringing but when I picked up it was all dial tone. I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with this phone. You ain’t answered my texts either, so must be something wrong with the cell phone too. Did you get that Whitman’s Sampler I left on your car? I know you hate the fruit ones so I swapped that shit out for nougat. I be waiting in the parking lot like always, in case you need a freak to stretch the field and split that Buffalo defense. Got my gym bag packed just in case. Like I said I’ll take the league minimum as long as it’s…

Straight cash, Homey


From the Playbook:

If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.