No spleen, no service.


A chip off the old blockhead.

Uncle Coach –

Caleb Haney?  Tyler Palko?  AJ Feeley?  Sage Rosenfels?  I took a team to the playoffs.  I left my spleen on the grass of Tampa stadium.  Goddamnit, I want a workout!


From the Playbook:

For Phil’s sake I wish I could help you, kid. But even Donovan McNabb has a working spleen, which makes him one organ closer than you are to getting a starting job as an NFL quarterback. Happy Holidays and good luck,

Uncle B

Spleenless wonder wants Manning’s job.


From Phil’

Dear Uncle Coach –

Could you put in a good word for me with the Colts?  You don’t need a spleen to play quarterback.

Chris Simms

From the Playbook:

That’s where you’d be wrong, Chris. Look what happened to Drew Bledsoe after he got popped in the spleen. Four years of failure and he’s out of football, just like Eric Mangini. And Bledsoe had no problem with his other organs. You, on the other hand – – look, we’ve all driven stoned in the West Village, but getting caught? With your pregnant wife in the car? Seems like the spleen is the least of your worries. But I’ve already put a call in to Jim Caldwell, and if you can get there by Tuesday you’re third on the depth chart after Collins. You guys should have a lot to talk about: he’s been playing with a colostomy bag for the last five years.

Say hi to your dad for me,