Chicken is chicken, but the Patriots are not the Red Sox.

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From Can’t Stop Talking Sox in Brockton:

Coach!

Alarm bells went off in my head when I saw this Patriots Today video of Aaron Hernandez eating chicken in the locker room! Once there’s chicken, can beer bongs, X-Boxes and John Lackey be far behind? I’ve already alerted Felger & Masserotti to the situation: they’re saying you’ve lost control of the team and the Patriots are headed for an epic collapse! 

Worried,

Stan

From the Playbook:

Stan,

Now that you mention it, John Lackey has been hanging around Gillette on Fried Chicken Fridays. One time he got Woodhead in a headlock over a drumstick they were both reaching for. When Woody pointed out that Lackey could buy 30 players at his salary and still have $1.5 million left over for snacks, Lackey tossed him in a vat of mashed potatoes and told him to “go cry to his daddy,” pointing at me. We were all pretty confused about it at the time. I heard he stole a LeapPad from Brady’s older son, then made fun of the younger one for wearing diapers. He kept calling him “Pedroia.” Those jai alai players are wound pretty tight. 

Nothing to cheer about in Jersey

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From SPolizzi@JS.com

Hey Billie…Wassup? I wasnt gonna rite yu butt I am soooo waisted and I just luv U!! Dump that Linda and come visit me when U play the JeTS. I am yur biggist fan and the #1 Beli-Chick!! 

Do u no that I was born in Chili ? I am very exoctic Billie and will treet u rite…..

X0X0X

Snooki

From the Playbook:

That would be an interesting match-up. I might have a little size and spelling ability on you, you’ve probably got a little quickness on me. Unfortunately the only thing I can cheer on the Jersey Shore is the National Anthem. But if you lost the heels you’d make a good prom date for Woodhead. Let’s talk after the game in November.