I think my phone might have got disconnected


From: The RealRandyMoss81:


Did you try to call just now? I thought I heard it ringing but when I picked up it was all dial tone. I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with this phone. You ain’t answered my texts either, so must be something wrong with the cell phone too. Did you get that Whitman’s Sampler I left on your car? I know you hate the fruit ones so I swapped that shit out for nougat. I be waiting in the parking lot like always, in case you need a freak to stretch the field and split that Buffalo defense. Got my gym bag packed just in case. Like I said I’ll take the league minimum as long as it’s…

Straight cash, Homey


From the Playbook:

If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.

Ocho no-no

From @chadochocinco:


Now that I’ve doubled my production on the field, I’m looking ahead to my first TD celebration. How can I express myself without getting Bruschi on my case?

In my playbook,



From the Playbook:

You should get excited after you make a play, but not so excited that you hide sombreros in the endzone. If you roll the tape you’ll see that we encourage players to express themselves after putting points on the board. As long as you choose one of the following approved victory celebrations you should be fine:

Handing the ball to the official

The gentleman’s handshake, as seen above

High-fiving Pat Patriot mascot

Pointing at Derrick Mason, then at the scoreboard

Saluting Minutemen on sidelines

The Gillette Leap, demonstrated here

Dancing on opposing team’s insignia, preferably if LaDainian Tomlinson is on the opposing team