We could use you on defense.

Topiary
From MinivanSam:
Hey Coach –

I just had my review with my boss and it went pretty well. He referred to you several times in his write up of my performance (in a good way). So you must be doing something right.

I just want to say thanks for helping my family so that we don’t have to eat mac & cheese 7 nights a week (well unless they really want to).

A working man.

From the Playbook:

Glad to be of service, Sam. You’ve done a good job for me this year in all three phases of the lawncare game: you can mow it, you can rake it and you can shovel it. You’ve even made some plays in the sodding game. But that’s not to say that you’re perfect and we should get started on your bust as Employee of the Year. That herbaceous border was a terrible call and I never asked for a topiary of the Lombardi Trophy. You know it and I know it: you’re obviously not going to win too many contracts if you keep landscaping like that. But overall you’ve been an asset to the lawn and I might have mentioned that to your boss in passing. If he decided to give you a raise, it is what it is: you probably deserve it.

 

Colts Country Is for Old Men

Supreme-court

From IndyBill@Colts.com:

Hey Bill – 

How’s it feel to be the coach of a New England franchise that hasn’t won a recent championship? The Sox, Celts and now Bruins have all won after you. 

Are you losing your touch? You haven’t won a playoff game since 2007! Still spooked by David Tyree and Spygate? The top movie in 2007 was “No Country for Old Men”. That’s how long it’s been since you’ve won a playoff game! Have you lost your fastball?

Sincerely, 

Bill Polian

Imgres-3

From the Playbook:

Thanks for your concern, Bill — I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when the AARP honored you for your commitment to keeping seniors in the workplace. Taking Kerry Collins out of that retirement home — that took a lot of compassion on your part. I have to hand it to you — your defense makes the Supreme Court look like a youth movement. And on top of that you’ve been a friend to the disabled: half your cap room is tied up in a guy with a broken neck. With these kinds of moral victories in your win column, who needs an actual win? Looking forward to seeing you in December,

Bill