Hey Hey Hey.

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It is what it is.

From the desk of Mike Shanahan:

Bill. ¬†Thought you should know that Haynesworth was here last weekend, shopping your playbook to anyone who’d listen. It hardly seems possible, but he looked even fatter and less motivated than he was when he sat on our bench for $35.6 million. Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. Let’s grab a steak after the game.

Mike

From the Playbook:

Appreciate the tip, Mike. As I see it, the only part of our operation Haynesworth is qualified to spread rumors¬†about is the cafeteria. So unless he tells you we’re running the Wildcat with a ham hock and some mashed potatoes, you can be pretty sure he’s at least 85% wrong. But on to the steak — Bobby Van’s?

Bill

Chicken is chicken, but the Patriots are not the Red Sox.

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From Can’t Stop Talking Sox in Brockton:

Coach!

Alarm bells went off in my head when I saw this Patriots Today video of Aaron Hernandez eating chicken in the locker room! Once there’s chicken, can beer bongs, X-Boxes and John Lackey be far behind? I’ve already alerted Felger & Masserotti to the situation: they’re saying you’ve lost control of the team and the Patriots are headed for an epic collapse! 

Worried,

Stan

From the Playbook:

Stan,

Now that you mention it, John Lackey has been hanging around Gillette on Fried Chicken Fridays. One time he got Woodhead in a headlock over a drumstick they were both reaching for. When Woody pointed out that Lackey could buy 30 players at his salary and still have $1.5 million left over for snacks, Lackey tossed him in a vat of mashed potatoes and told him to “go cry to his daddy,” pointing at me. We were all pretty confused about it at the time. I heard he stole a LeapPad from Brady’s older son, then made fun of the younger one for wearing diapers. He kept calling him “Pedroia.” Those jai alai players are wound pretty tight.