Lawrence Taylor made some questionable calls, but we paid him anyway.


From Don’t Touch that Dial:

Dear Coach,

I picked up my car from the shop and it was tuned to a Christian rock radio station. They fixed the car, so should I overlook it or take it somewhere else from now on? 

Thanks for your input,


From the Playbook:

There’s only one question you need to ask yourself at the end of the day, Bob: did they do their job? Lawrence Taylor routinely smoked crack on the sidelines, and he once played a whole game handcuffed to a hooker. But you can look at the stats: the better the crack, the better the sacks. He broke Terry Bradshaw’s ribs by throwing that hooker like a javelin. The man did his job and when a man does his job, he’s earned his paycheck. So pay your mechanic, even if he’s listening to Debbie Gibson. But if you find an undrafted mechanic who can do the same job for the league minimum, feel free to make the swap and wish your current mechanic the best of luck in his new career with the Oakland Raiders.

Girlfriend in a Coma


From PatsFanDoug:

Dear Coach,

I can’t believe it’s really you. I’ve always wondered what kind of advice you give your players and I guess now is my chance to find out because i really need your advice. My girlfriend doesn’t like it rough but I guess I do because all of a sudden she is giving me the silent treatment. I did hear from her lawyer though. In fact I am writing this from jail. I don’t know if you’ve ever been through something like this before but the site says ask anything so I’m asking.

From the Playbook:

I’ll tell you what I tell my players: the horseplay must be consensual. Consensual horseplay is what happens when you’re a first ballot Hall-of-Famer pulling down 98 passes for 1,493 yards, you drink one too many Courvoisiers during your bye week, and you play Twister with a groupie. Barroom assault is what happens when you’re too ugly to get dates even after quarterbacking the Pittsburgh Steelers to two Super Bowl victories. Either way, chances are you will still end up in the playoffs. Then there’s what happens when you’re a disgraced former first-round pick who likes to pick up the tab by shoving your MasterCard down a waitress’s brassiere. When it’s like that, I like to take a wait and see approach. If you clean up your act and turn out to be the sleeping giant you say you are, and you remember to let Tom Brady pay the bill unless you’re at a Hooters, I’ll support you 100 percent and start you in the playoffs. If anything else, I’ll trade you for a third-round draft pick and wish you the very best in your new career with the Oakland Raiders.