Tell me something I don’t know

Imgres

Scott Pioli experiences success for the last time

From SPioli@KCChiefs.com:

Hey Bill – 

Just thought I’d drop you a quick email since our first meeting of the ‘BHB’ club (Boys that Hate Belichick) took place recently in Cleveland.

During the first hour Charlie C. kicked off the opening ceremonies with a bang (and some great stories about Linda!). Then Eric M spoke during the second hour on Spygate and everyone had a laugh about that first round pick that you lost. 

Unfortunately our founding father could not make it, but Arlen S. was able to dig up this video of you dressed as a pirate on roller skates. Boy you should have heard the laughter! I almost pissed my pants I was laughing so hard!

It will be hard to top this at next month’s meeting but hey, it is what it is.

Cordially, 

Scott P.

From the Playbook:

That’s quite a confederacy of losers you’ve got over there, Scott. I’m surprised you didn’t fly Matt Walsh out for the reunion. I guess he was busy in the bag room of the Honolulu Putt-Putt.  I’ve already seen the highlights of your secret meeting — you should have thought twice about holding it in the banquet hall of the Shaker Heights Holiday Inn. You of all people should know how easy it is to wire a camcorder to the ceiling fan in that dump. Didn’t think it could happen, but you’ve gotten even balder, by the way. As for Casserly, that toupee looks like he stole it from a weasel’s den. And now I know why they call Specter “Snarlin’ Arlen” — everyone knows there’s no free refills on blender drinks, but the guy kept screaming at the waiter for not topping up his daicquiri! He wouldn’t shut up about it — Mangini could hardly lisp a word in edgewise. Anyway, it was good to see you all, and I’m glad my pirate costume gave you something to smile about. It can’t be easy to look on the bright side with people calling you the worst team in football.

Colts Country Is for Old Men

Supreme-court

From IndyBill@Colts.com:

Hey Bill – 

How’s it feel to be the coach of a New England franchise that hasn’t won a recent championship? The Sox, Celts and now Bruins have all won after you. 

Are you losing your touch? You haven’t won a playoff game since 2007! Still spooked by David Tyree and Spygate? The top movie in 2007 was “No Country for Old Men”. That’s how long it’s been since you’ve won a playoff game! Have you lost your fastball?

Sincerely, 

Bill Polian

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From the Playbook:

Thanks for your concern, Bill — I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when the AARP honored you for your commitment to keeping seniors in the workplace. Taking Kerry Collins out of that retirement home — that took a lot of compassion on your part. I have to hand it to you — your defense makes the Supreme Court look like a youth movement. And on top of that you’ve been a friend to the disabled: half your cap room is tied up in a guy with a broken neck. With these kinds of moral victories in your win column, who needs an actual win? Looking forward to seeing you in December,

Bill

 

It’s always good to see former assistants.

Espnny_mangini_belichick_576

From: Baffled in Boston:

Hey Bill –

I heard Mangini on a Boston sports radio show this AM (the day after the Pat’s big win in Miami) and he said he “didn’t mean” for the spygate thing to go as far as it did. He said that if he knew it was going to go that far, he wouldn’t have done it.

Any idea on how to translate this nonsense?????

From the Playbook:

Now that you mention it, I saw Eric at Gillette Stadium yesterday.  He always drops by when he’s in town to make sure his key still doesn’t work. It was nice to see him. I wish him the very best in his new career as a studio analyst for ESPN. I’d have shaken his hand but I was holding two cups of coffee so I just laughed at him through the security glass. I hope he took it in the manner in which it was intended.