Jah Redskins a failure, Snyder whines.

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Rastafarians can perform at a high level, but they eventually become uncoachable.

From The Other D. Snyder:

Dear Coach,

I thought bringing in a hardass like Shanahan would make the Redskins more of a model organization like the Patriots, but somehow we ended up with a squad full of potheads and malcontents. What gives? I spend and spend and I still end up sucking Kraft’s exhaust.

Sick of it,

Dan

From the Playbook:

I wouldn’t blame Mike on this one. Rastafarianism is a big problem in the league. It’s hard to detect in a scouting interview — these guys don’t always wear rainbow-colored hats and listen to Bob Marley. If they bring their own snacks to the meeting, they’re either diabetic or Rastafarian. A good trick is to ask them about something you said 5 minutes ago. If they can’t remember it, or they remember it completely wrong, they’re either Rastafarian or Vince Young. Rastafarians can be great locker room leaders, but when it comes to the field they’re playing from a different playbook. And there are only so many times you can get Tedy Bruschi to submit urine samples for you. Just ask Randy Moss.

Ocho no-no

From @chadochocinco:

Coach,

Now that I’ve doubled my production on the field, I’m looking ahead to my first TD celebration. How can I express myself without getting Bruschi on my case?

In my playbook,

Chad

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From the Playbook:

You should get excited after you make a play, but not so excited that you hide sombreros in the endzone. If you roll the tape you’ll see that we encourage players to express themselves after putting points on the board. As long as you choose one of the following approved victory celebrations you should be fine:

Handing the ball to the official

The gentleman’s handshake, as seen above

High-fiving Pat Patriot mascot

Pointing at Derrick Mason, then at the scoreboard

Saluting Minutemen on sidelines

The Gillette Leap, demonstrated here

Dancing on opposing team’s insignia, preferably if LaDainian Tomlinson is on the opposing team