Give Rivers a call.

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From: Rob@GronkNation

Coach!

I went for the easy score and now it hurts to pee.  What should I do?  RG

From the Playbook:

Jesus, Gronkowski. You probably deserve to get the clap on your bye week for that bonehead stunt. If you’re going to get goofy with a hooker, just leave the jersey at home, alright? Tom Brady doesn’t get photographed with his shirt off for any less than $100,000 a minute. What did you get, other than VD and a couple friends on Tweeter? Seriously, how many of your brothers do I have to hire to keep you in line?


 

Never heard of him.

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Who’s that guy with Ocho Uno?

From Looking4Ocho:

Dame named Johnson hired me to find a man who goes by the name Eighty-Five in Mexican, said you may have some answers.

 — Sam Spade

From the Playbook:

Sorry Sam,

There was a guy with that name catching balls on our team back in August, but once the regular season started he disappeared. You might check around on Tweeter, though. I’ve heard there’s a lot of noise coming from there with that name on it.