Biggest distractions between the lines

Imgres

From BleedingPatsBlue85:

Hi Coach!

I saw your comment today about on-field distractions becoming commonplace in today’s NFL and I was just wondering: what is the biggest distraction you can remember in your career as a head coach?

From the Playbook:

That’s a tough one. Probably the time the Beach Boys streaked onto the field being chased by a pack of dogs. They weren’t even big or intimidating dogs — a few of them had sweaters on, which is more than you could say for the Beach Boys. That’s not what you’re looking for, especially on Monday Night Football. Another time my capybara, Bonkers, got loose and gnawed a crop circle into the endzone during a Welker punt return. Things like that can really foul up your momentum but you have to execute even if it means tackling a fat man in a g-string. 

 

Ocho no-no

From @chadochocinco:

Coach,

Now that I’ve doubled my production on the field, I’m looking ahead to my first TD celebration. How can I express myself without getting Bruschi on my case?

In my playbook,

Chad

New_england_patriots_3cff

From the Playbook:

You should get excited after you make a play, but not so excited that you hide sombreros in the endzone. If you roll the tape you’ll see that we encourage players to express themselves after putting points on the board. As long as you choose one of the following approved victory celebrations you should be fine:

Handing the ball to the official

The gentleman’s handshake, as seen above

High-fiving Pat Patriot mascot

Pointing at Derrick Mason, then at the scoreboard

Saluting Minutemen on sidelines

The Gillette Leap, demonstrated here

Dancing on opposing team’s insignia, preferably if LaDainian Tomlinson is on the opposing team